#haven't been feeling too great
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"He's gonna cry."
Tw (?): A bit of a vent art but nothing gorey. Just haven't been feeling too great recently, sorry.
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Wasn't planning on posting this today but hey here we are. This is kind of a vent art in a way (?) Haven't been feeling too great recently but hey at least I'm making progress.
Was inspired to draw my own Welcome Home oc mimicking the art on Clown's About Welcome Home page while also pouring some of my own feelings while I was at it bc...why not?
Idk if you're reading this far but I just want to say thanks for stopping by to see my artwork :"]
#art#tw vent#no gore#my art#vent art#welcome home puppet show#welcome home oc#welcome home original character#thanks for stopping by!#sorry i havent been posting#haven't been feeling too great#ugh this weeks finals were just making me lose motivation to draw sorry
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2023 favorites
#artists on tumblr#so colorful this year#the first pieces i have planned for 2024 are more horror themed again#doing my best to relax until the new year#i love freelancing but i haven't had a single vacation this year#so trying to actually just... not draw for a few days :')#i always feel guilty when i don't#but no matter how much you love something you need to do other things too#be a person outside of it#even if the algorithms hate that#i hope everyone has a great rest of the year#especially sending strength and good vibes to anyone working customer service over the holidays#been there#i wish a very “step on a lego” for any customer being shitty to you
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jungkook x for youth for @jkvjimin 💜
#btsedit#btsgif#jungkookedit#dailybts#usersky#userpat#userdimple#usersevn#raplineuser#uservans#annietrack#usermizuoka#rjshope#useremmeline#usercecelia#trackofthesoul#jungkook#loml#*mine#don't ask me why i saw these & thought of you#i haven't been feeling the greatest today but i just wanted to make something so you can have a great day#i hope you love it & you know i love you too 💗
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Another bonus to learning a fiber art is being able to speak to others in a Lovecraftian language that nobody else understands...
...and also being able to read things like THIS:
#art#crochet#fiber art#described images#image description in alt#used a crochet pattern for this because it's just INSANE#see i can recognize some of these stitch markings but i haven't done them all yet#i actually kind of prefer the diagram pattern because it actually shows you the shape and the way stitches compliment the piece#with a 'normal' pattern (e.g. 1 dc in fifth ch from hook ch 2 4 dc) i understand it sure but. it isn't the same.#i was reading somebodys recommendations for tapestry yarn and understood all the abbreviations and what they mean#plus i feel like diagrams can be a great way to teach you not only how stitches look but how they contribute to the larger piece#one of my crochet proficiency goals is to be able to look at a piece and know instantly what made it#*cue me at the store analyzing a crochet piece so i can replicate it for 5× the cost*#if you're selling a crocheted piece for like $20 then it's my imperative to replicate it and not buy it 🫡#i think that has the same moral implication as like... 'proplifting'#did crochet as the example because thats what i do as a fiber art. if theres a similar thing for knit/weave/ect then DROP IT BELOW I BEG YO#i want to learn all the lovecraftian languages of the fiber artists <3#i feel like describing the image in exactly what stitch marking indicates what would have been too much so hopefully the explanation as to..#...what the diagram DOES and how it visually indicates a pattern was helpful <3
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I've seen people say you can't compare the QSMP to the DSMP because they're both completely different servers with different starts.
The thing is you can compare them. Not the stories told themselves because of course they're going to be different as they're 2 servers with different starts with 2 nearly completely different sets of people.
You can compare the treatment of the creators by the fandom, players (other cc on the server) and admins though.
Foolish for example. He made SO many amazing high quality builds to use and be shown to people. Ranboo and Tubbo had him build a giant mansion for them to live in! Yet it was entered maybe once after being finished. Foolish was able to use his builds for his own lore maybe once. Only a few people like Bad really acknowledged them by messing around in the area of them or adding something easy to get rid of to them as jokes.
Bad's treatment on the DSMP was frustrating to watch. He was the butt of the joke every time he was around. People would constantly swear on his streams because it was so funny for them! They constantly destroyed his and Skeppy's house and griefed the front of it. No one other than his friends really listened to him about things. And the egg arc was supposed to be something that was a massive danger to the server! But how does the server and fandom not directly involved treat it? Like a joke. Bad and his friends clearly worked really hard on this arc to include more than just the 'main characters' and their small circle, yet it was brushed off as if nothing by the players and fandom, treated like it was stupid.
Quackity's lore just kinda- happened. There isn't much I can say as I don't remember a lot of it tbh which isn't a great sign.
Philza and Wilbur probably got the better end of the stick for lore due to being connected to the main lorr, but it still wasn't great for them either.
A lot of CCs not on the QSMP have mentioned how the communication for the server was terrible too. At the start of lore on the DSMP, it made sense as they were purely doing improve so there wasn't really anyone to run things through. But the fact the issue was bad the entire time made the CCs on the server feel ignored and not want to play on it.
It was rare for people to interact with others outside their already established circles unless they're friends outside the server.
Now with the QSMP
Foolish has built multiple things on the server and has been acknowledged by everyone at this point. Bad might mess with them a lot still and encourage others to join him but you can tell the respect people still have for each one. Vagetta wants a version of the statue Foolish built him on other servers. People and fandom admire his builds and always make sure that if there's any damage to it, it's easily undone. Cellbit has made the castle Foolish built him his home the moment it was finished, he's been using it since. He paid him fully and made sure he was fully supplied and had company while building, staying on for hours to talk to him as he built.
Bad is respected by everyone on the server. He's taken seriously by everyone. Everyone trusts him with their kid's lives. Phil asks Bad to babysit Tallulah and Chayanne if he can't. The french trust Bad more than anyone outside their language group. Forever trusts Bad the most on the server other than Baghera. If someone needs something they'll go to him. All the eggs love him and so does the fandom. He's part of the joke instead of the butt of it. He can laugh along with the jokes made, even ones directed at him. When people swear on his streams and he languages them, they immediately apologize and switch to one of Bad's replacements (fudge being the main one) and no one makes fun of it either! They don't start swearing relentlessly at him to annoy him.
Even though Quackity doesn't show up often, when he does people are happy to interact with him and update him on what's happened if he wants it.
People can be off the server for weeks without being isolated because they're not keeping up with major lore, especially as people are happy to update anyone on anything they want to know. Hell people can be on a lot without being involved in lore but still be included as much as anyone else! As soon as there's a threat to the eggs or a new way to protect them, it spreads to everyone like wildfire and everyone's taken it on within a week.
The new arrivals are always welcomed by the islanders already there. They support them and treat with the same respect they do with everyone else. They merge with everyone else nearly immediately and become part of the community without hesitation.
The communication with the admins is clearly amazing too. Philza has pointed out how appreciated he feels compared to other servers. When an egg dies unfairly they're quick to get back to them within hours. If there's a general issues they're quick to get back to them and fix things. People are allowed to have their own stories alongside the main one. Events are planned and discussed so everyones aware before it happens. Anyone who wants to take part is welcome to if it's a big thing due to how open they usually are (rescuing Cellbit and Felps, travelling to Bobby's death site, etc). Thinfs are adapted and changed when needed and all CCs are in the loop.
Being able to watch the QSMP and not feel like any POV I watch is being mistreated or ignored is great. I couldn't watch anything but lore streams with the DSMP because Bad was my main POV and it made me so uncomfortable to watch him being made fun of constantly and be treated as a joke.
The QSMP feels like a community of people, instead of factions trying to go against each other. DSMP was my first and only smp experience and while it was great at first, it quickly soured. The QSMP treats it's CCs and fandom as if they genuinely matter, making sure everyone is welcomed and no one is isolated.
#qsmp#it feels so nice to watch#Bad has always been my main POV for years now as I enjoy watching him most#so watching him constantly made fun of and treated as a joke on the DSMP was horrible to watch#Seeing the contrast of that compared to how respected he is on the QSMP is so nice#While his chat is starting to not be too great#The fandom and the people treat him so well#They all interact with people they haven't with before and they make such amazing dynamics to watch#Small rant thing because I appreciate Quackity making the QSMP so much#the love and care is clear in the way everything's been done on the server#the admins and people have been carefully chosen and it shows so well
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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THANK YOU for your continuous research into The Gun lmao. i don‘t know what to effectively do with the information either but it scratches just the perfect part of my brain that has been fixated on tws for the last ~6 yrs or so, you‘re my lifesaver !!
Same nonnie, same. I also don't know what to do with this information but I get such a kick out of researching it and thinking about it and seeing all of the theories, headcanons, and fics it's inspired. I'm so happy that other people have enjoyed joining me in my decent into madness over the reappearance of this one very specific weapon from a decade-old movie.
#benoit is literally me about The Gun#I feel like a detective#and this mystery is just too compelling to let go of#thank you for this lovely message of encouragement btw#I haven't been doing great recently and this helped lift my spirits#🖤#asked#The Gun
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#tv: frasier#frasieredit#frasier#daphne moon#niles crane#niles and daphne#there is so much going on in this episode#thank god frasier and martin got niles back in line because this is the farthest over the line he's ever been#he did the right thing in the end but...it was bad#and as for daphne...#clearly she's going through something here#i honestly think as great as donny is it was way too soon to ask#and i think daphne feels that#they haven't known each other long enough to form the kind of bond for a lasting marriage#if you feel fear when someone asks you to marry them...#maybe the answer is no#my huggle bunny and my rock#things i made
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choosing health and sleep over clubbing so i don't fall behind academically and like. this is what i meant when i said i was prioritizing school over everything this year bc this is my career and doing well this year seriously counts for getting into phd programs but. oooof.
#like. if i didn't have a date tomorrow i'd feel worse abt it#bc i am 23 and letting myself get lame but#idk. also drinking would make me feel super depressed tomorrow and i haven't been doing too great this week in general so.
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hi! I recently came across your tgcf fics, and I wanted to say you’re a phenomenal creator. the recovery series fic and the gloves fic and just all of them. thank you for your content and great attention to detail.
do you have any thoughts/hcs on FXMQ and Xie Lian you’d be willing to share? within the original story or the universes of your fics!
Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying them! (ノ*^▽^*)ノ.。:*☆
hmm, random thoughts about the FXMQ... a silly headcanon: Feng Xin has very much been hoisted by his own petard by heckling Mu Qing! That is to say, he'll harass Mu Qing relentlessly about something stupid only to be confronted with a similar situation and realise that there's absolutely NO way he can act in anyway similar to Mu Qing or he'll never hear the end of it.
(For example, he has tolerated some truly atrocious divine statues in the past because he's heckled Mu Qing so much about how picky he is with his divine statues that there's no WAY he can say ANYTHING without seeing that smug bastard's face in his head so he just has to bite his tongue and tolerate some unspeakably ugly statues.)
Mu Qing doesn't generally suffer from similar overthinking (he'll just prepare to kick FX's ass if he dares to say anything about it) except for things more directly related to himself. I think he genuinely finds sewing/embroidery/etc rather relaxing work but he'd rather die than have anyone ever see him do it because he's made such a big deal about not doing that sort of "servant" work anymore.
(He actually really enjoyed stitching Ruoye back together because it gave him the perfect excuse -- he's returning a favour!! and Xie Lian is hopeless!! of course he had to!! -- and he secretly considered using white thread to embroider some invisible little designs just because he doesn't quite want to stop... only he knew he'd get caught if he messed with Xie Lian's spiritual device like that and gave up the idea)
#tgcf#bene speaks#so anon will you send me a FXMQ hc back?? 👀 i know others have given that pair more thought than i have#though it does all make me wonder how mu qing (and feng xin) would feel about ruoye after learning about its origins#more fond or more resentful?#or guiltily realise that its been too long and they don't feel anything at all about it but wonder#if they should - if they would if they were better people#this is an irreverent goofy little idea off the top of my head but i dunno... i haven't written much with these guys yet#but i have thoughts#their entire dynamic with xie lian#the way they are so wholly in need of each other but also so intensely distanced from each other is... *chefs kiss*#none of them are REALLY friends by the end of the main series#not really#were they ever friends? proper friends? hard to say since we only have xl's pov and his pov is really biased especially in regard#to his past behaviour - he judges himself quite harshly#were they friends? did was the hierarchy between them mean that they never really COULD cross that divide?#i like to think they were and they did but still. 800 years is a long time#feng xin and mu qing have SUCH a horrifically and deliciously complicated relationship#there's so many old resentments between them + inherent ties that can't quite break + jun wu's fucking meddling#(and my GOD jun wu's meddling in that trio... would love to pick at that more... that would be a great fic#one that parallels fx/mq(/xl) and yy/qyz... give me a hurt/comfort fic that builds on that god#i am fascinated by what a renewed friendship could look like between them after 800 years now that they're all on somewhat equal footing#we got a great taste of mu qing wanting to move past old grudges and really pursue that which healed me after the wwx&jc ending in mdzs#but they all have so much baggage to shed and things to talk about... man it'd be intense#so yeah. this is a long tag ramble to say i definitely HAVE SOME FUCKING THOUGHTS about the mess that is the xianle trio (quartet)#anyway thanks for asking anon that was fun to ramble about
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been thinking about how hard MSQ must be on the body, especially for someone who isn't exactly in the best shape of their life. must be hard to keep up with the warrior of light! which ended up in a couple studies of how Negi's carried his weight through the whole adventure, with a couple extra mostly-non-spoilery notes on each expac~
#ffxiv#ffxiv art#ffxiv miqo'te#miqo'te#ff14#negi bloodpath#images should be id'ed ik my handwriting is hard to parse lol#essentially though. i wanted him to go thru a Journey body-wise because i always drew him kind of the exact same and i wanted to figure out#how exactly it would Affect him to have to catch up with the wol because for a time it is Very hard for him to do that.#with Sagra being a seasoned warrior from the Steppe and him “just” being a little herbalist failed conjurer he has like#a hard time feeling like he deserves to be by his side? and feeling like he deserves his place in the Scions#because so far he'd only been assigned to a couple lower stakes jobs#and then to Sagra and then it got. very serious very fast!#but after a while he figures like. well god damn it if no one else will do it. i fucking will.#and i'll do a GREAT JOB OF IT!!!#overpowering his anxiety just out of pure spite#then shb happens and kind of puts a wrench in that but he does get better. sheer force of will he does get better.#but that's too much to get into in tags LMAOO and we haven't rped it yet so it's still In The Air#taking between patch time to cement him before dawntrail comes he's gotten really good after ew but he deserves to be PERFECT by dt!!!!!!#my little fucking man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my art
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2024 reads / storygraph
Sailing By Gemini’s Star
final book in a historical fiction trilogy
following a group of pirates creating a free society on Nassau, stealing from the crown and freeing the enslaved
particularly focusing on the son of a naval captain who ran away to become a pirate, and the complicated relationship he has with his family and adopted brother - with their decades long feud coming to an end as England tries to stamp down on piracy
focuses on familial and platonic relationships, found family, everyone’s queer, aroace MCs
#Sailing By Gemini’s Star#the constellation trilogy#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#aroace books#ahhhhh my kids…….#a fantastic conclusion to this decades long story about family and pirates. It’s a long one but it’s worth it.#so many great characters and relationships! it's definitely a bit drawn out but I think it needs that space to properly explore everything#The central complex sibling relationship/rivalry full of betrayal is so interesting#and I feel like I haven't read a lot of books that really centre that (rather than a romance)#and also where everyone's queer with not really much romance at all. most of what I've encountered that might be my taste is one or the oth#it didn’t emotionally devastate me as much as the others and I feel like some aspects could have been more subtle?#It’s definitely self indulgent in places haha and sometimes I felt it was a liiittle too nice to the characters?#But overall I really love this trilogy!#astra beloved
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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha#I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months#Like#Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death#But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life#I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death#Or a painful one#I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess#I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think#Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol#😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old#🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent#working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS#I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol
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Comfort
#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#The Guide#Nadja of Antipaxos#Guidja#haven't been feeling too great recently#depressive episode sucked all fun out of everything#i just wanted to enjoy silly vampires damnit-
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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake
#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update#she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back#i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat#im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it#bc what the fuck#i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages#and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit#and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc#it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday#why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up#I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever#i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for#and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about#that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell#why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family#and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call#which gives them space to harass me about work and shit
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thinking really hard about logging into my old tumblr acc after being gone for like a year and a half cause i stumbled upon a post that led me to my old mutuals and i teared up a lil </3 but also i feel so ashamed i left without saying a word to anyone aaaa
#like i genuinely feel so bad for simply disappearing from people's lives :c#i used to talk to some of them daily and like even had plans to see one of them on holiday to another country?? like that level of close#and then well my mental health went to shit i took a semester off uni and disappeared from my irl friends' lives too for a good 6 months#some of my mutuals had my ig and we followed each other but i also haven't really been there much since dissappearing last year so#but i just snooped into some of their accounts and seeeing what they're up to made me want to talk to them sooo bad#everyone was so cool and kind and i miss them so much it's just i feel so guilty and also don't even know if i'm able to mantain constant#contact and conversations with people now. like it's been even hard for me to stay in touch with my irl friends aaa#why must my brain hate me so much and not let me socialize !! i used to be such an extroverted person what the fuck happened!!#i know some of them messaged me worried and i felt so guilty for not responding but i saw those dms when i was very much deppressed#so i never answered and now i feel like it's too late GOD!!#anyways at least it was nice snooping and seeing how they're doing i genuinely wish them only good things they're fucking great#maybe i just need to suck it up and just go back and talk to people again but i get so overwhelmed just thinking about it!!#okay it's like 4 am i'm posting this and maybe deleting it in the morning sorry for the rant i just am feeling a lot !!
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